Back in the day I lived with Top Hat and my friend Martin in a dingy little apartment, (we made it dingy). For awhile we didn’t have cable tv so we were forced to just smoke, drink coffee and read. After I’d gone through every John Grisham and Mary Higgins Clark book it got to a point when I pulled out my roommate Martin’s giant phone book sized tome that promised me everything I ever wanted for free via government grants and application loopholes. This obnoxiously large dissertation on the welfare state by Matthew Lesko was a terrible read but damn, his late night infomercials are hilarious. Check this out below. The guy wears a riddler outfit and promises you everything under the sun including FREE HORSES. What? Yeah. That’s right…FREE HORSES. What are dudes in DC gonna do with horses I don’t know but man I know a guy down in Los Chavez that can help you out. Tough Love I’m talking to you. Anyways if you haven’t gotten enough check out Lesko’s sweet Beltway club dance here.

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I was raised here. 18 years. Anybody who has never been to New Mexico usually has a dozen misconceptions about my poor state. So I thought I’d spread a little knowledge through the work of another Belenite. I have no idea who he is but I think he did a good job of showing just about all you need to know about my small town, and really it gives you an abstract for a better understanding of New Mexico, and it’s just really funny to me.

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So i stumbled across these eerie funeral jams a few weeks ago while perusing SOULSEEK. Apparently in Thailand they bury you in a coffin but on top there is usually some temple/dragon/elaborate structure which represents the mood of the funeral party. Something about karma or rebirth or eternal life or something. The best part is that they use music that reminds me of the initial Chinese standoff in Big Trouble in Little China.

Ok, it’s been a long day and I am really tired. This one’s for the freaks. Enjoy!

http://www.mediafire.com/?yq5uvdjkeaz

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I am not sure if I every made this clear, but I am deathly afraid of robots. My nightmare is a phantasmagoria of post-apocalyptic horrors where the downfall of the human race is brought about by the careless creation of robots so superior to humans that they hunt us to near extinction like cowboys did to the American Buffalo. Are we dumb enough to create the object of our own demise? This just serves to exacerbate my fears and feed the flames of my revolt against artificial intelligence.

The time for revolution is nigh! Resist the temptation of sweet robot arms that shoot lasers! Do not deny your humanity for awesome rocket-skates for feet, or soft-serve ice cream machines for fingers! Do not fall into the peril of super-powered brains, and quite possibly the abilities to fly and turn invisible! Embrace being human with all its shortcomings!

I wonder if sex will get better or worse? Oh well, can’t be as bad as virtual sex like in Demolition Man with Sylvestor Stalone

As an aside, you’d be amazed how hard it is to find sweet videos of robots massacring humanity, ripping the heads of little girls’ dolls, or eating puppies. This would almost work if Benny Hinn was a robot. Furthermore, you can’t even find a good video of anything eating a puppy, only puppies eating.

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